doc scott, if he is new, he might just be trying to make a friend.

set the boundries right off.

im pretty busy with X Y and Z but we can go get some coffee tuesdays if you want.

He is also proud of his son and probably just wants a buddy to go with him and tell him how great the stage looks. I would pass on that i think.

But some people are socially awkward, and he probably just wanted to get to know you. 

Epic.

The other scenario is that you'll accidentally touch his ears and he'll kill you with his 'tard strength. 

Frank and Beans! 

Scott,

...

When did you introduce yourself as (spooge spot) Scott"?

You need to speak his language to connect.

Steve,

How for you're a (booger) Steve'?

 

Xmas is just around the corner. Get him a nice little gift to break the ice.
Nothing says "I care" like a studded collar and ball gag. 

doc scott is going to be putting the lotion in the basket soon. 

can you look in this guy's window or something? more clues?

This. I need ways to figure more out about this guy before I can talk to him. Windows might be hard since we're on the third floor. 

I think you should immediately move and burn the whole apartment block from orbit.

it's the only way to be sure. 

tell him you want to google his social security number. 

If I got a letter like that I'd probably call the cops. 

D0C SCOTT said:

This. I need ways to figure more out about this guy before I can talk to him. Windows might be hard since we're on the third floor.

Buy one of these guys.
Mount a camera with a self-timer on it and take some photos through his windows.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?"
"Just checking in on you, neighbor? Say, want to head to the Turkish baths?" 

wingnutzero said:

Xmas is just around the corner. Get him a nice little gift to break the ice.
Nothing says "I care" like a studded collar and ball gag.

How about inviting him over for Thanksgiving?
Maybe he can help you with the stuffing & basting. 

just push him against the wall in the hallway and deep kiss him

out creep the creep 

Don't forget to fondle the balls too. 

Describe this guy some more. What did he look like? What was his voice like? 

That's a little too intense for me.
He could have just knocked on your door and asked you if you wanted to go get some coffee. 

You should probably walk around the halls with a pair of nunchucks hanging around your neck like Chaz from Wedding Crashers. 

The inclusion of the long list - I'll do ANYTHING TO GET TO YOU MAN. ANYTHING. The inclusion, specifically, of a sauna? Creeeeepyandgaybutmostlycreeeeeeepy. 

normal -

/new neighbor knocks on door with a couple beers in his hands

"hi, i'm your new neighbor"

/takes beer

"welcome friend"

creepy -

/new neighbor knocks on door wearing bathrobe

"hi, grab a sauna?" 

Yeah, that list is what really bothered me.

Also, people constantly want to talk to me about my heritage especially if they suspect I might be a Molokan. That signals to me that I should get away quickly. 

He seemed like a regular Joe. So much so I can barely describe him. What I remember is that he was a little on the short side, average build, and was wearing glasses.

I distinctly remember that it took him a second to reply "hi" after I said Happy Halloween. So much so that it crossed my mind that he might be one of the really evangelical anti-Halloween type. 

Fuck. I just used my alias to post that. 

aZZaZeLo said:

You should probably walk around the halls with a pair of nunchucks hanging around your neck like Chaz from Wedding Crashers.

haha this 

NOTHING TO SEE HERE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! 

HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
That's the total win of the thread. 

Yeah, good job, noob.

But seriously, I mean, did he sound foreign? All he said was hi?

Because that note seems like a very European notion to me.

Still creepy, but at least European creepy. 

Creepy factor on this is high.
Friendships you build up casually. Meet in the elevator talk about the weather, news, etc. Then a few more run in. Offer some help with a problem.

But googling your name and invites to something personal like this right off the bat.
Psycho comes to mind. 

All I heard him say was "Hi" so I couldn't tell if he had an accent. 

I thought you were going to say he wrote you a letter about how evil halloween is, but when he basically asked you out I didn't know what to think. 

Friendships you build up casually

It should take at least a month before he's three knuckles deep in your winker. 

I did think European though after thinking about it last night. The fact that he seemed surprised by "Happy Halloween," the mention of tea, and the general social awkwardness made me think he was british. 

British people don't take saunas.

Maybe he's from Northern Europe, like Sweden or Finland or something. 

You should probably just call him up and go to coffee. If it's weird you can just claim you're really busy. 

There are 2 saunas in our building. That fact makes it a little less creepy for me. A little. 

Yuck! Bacteria overload 

Ask him, "Fancy a shag?"

If he says "yes" then he's British. And gay. And all your questions are answered. 

Yuck! Bacteria overload

I pee on myself after I leave the saunas so it's ok. 

This poor dude probably just desperately needs some friends. 

Invite him over for the game. If he's "not into sports," but agrees to hang out anyway - he's trying to bang you. 

The thing is that I am really busy with med school, so I won't be able to "hang out" that much no matter what. I'm a little worried what he's gonna do when he meets my wife. 

Yeah, if you want to be nice and find out more about this guy (and I would love to hear how this story ends) I'd say do the coffee "on your way to somewhere." Have a solid out that doesn't involve him offering you a lift back to your/his place. 

Volshebnik said:

This poor dude probably just desperately needs some friends.

Well if he stopped skinning and eating the ones he made, this wouldn't be a problem. 

D0C SCOTT said:

The thing is that I am really busy with med school, so I won't be able to "hang out" that much no matter what. I'm a little worried what he's gonna do when he meets my wife.

Here's an idea. Don't worry about anything in relation to this situation. Take the note at face value and don't worry about implying probable situations. Call him up and say, "Would you like to have coffee with my wife and I on such and such and I will tell you a little more about the complex and the area. I should tell you I am currently in med school and have limited time but I was impressed by you note and look forward to being your neighbor." 

That's a good idea, and is mostly how I plan on handling it. At least as long as it doesn't get any weirder.

But I do hope he's European. 

Don't compliment him, imo. Just be the friendly neighbor without pretending to be stoked, because he probably is crazy and you're going to get a "what about bob" scenario on your hands. 

Wow. You're really unfriendly. 

Let me just say
You guys are some epic chickenshits.
If he gave you a note, he assumes it is still in your place as evidence, so he isnt planning anything evil like eating or killing you. If you dont know how to politely decline a gay pass at this point as an adult then we cant help.
Fear is no way to live a life. 

I do feel that complimenting the letter will likely lead to more creepy things. But I am going to be very nice to him all the same. 

If I found out I was living next to a Fazer I would have to move. 

There's really only one thing to do.
Introduce him to fazed.