From: idsaluteyou bub - upps upps upps
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:20 PM
51
I'm gonna guess bicycle seat. 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:21 PM
52
well that's odd....

let's go to our judges! 
From: onemanarmy - Canada
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:21 PM
53
YOUR A SEAGULL
From: rachelrose is my newt

Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:12 PM
40
I WANT SOME TAQUITOS
From: wittyusername

Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:13 PM
41
I dodged a bullet the other night, thanks to too much alcohol.
This friendly, fairly attractive coworker had invited me out to drink with some of her friends last weekend,
and we had a great time.
She invited me out again Saturday night, and I met up with her again, and an entirely new group of friends.
She's being very touchy-feely, showing me her "boobie shirt" (pretty generous cleavage hidden under her jacket... I was surprised),
asking if I can drive her to the after-party, stuff like that.
So far, so good, I'm thinking.

The bullet dodging came when she drunkenly spilled the beans, that she's legally married,
separated, and doing her best to "get back at [her] ex" (who, it turns out, is a cop), by sleeping with a lot of guys.
I'm pretty sure I was expected to be her next notch in Operation PissOfftheGuywithaGun,
so who knows, maybe I dodged more than one bullet.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it all; maybe she's just a really affectionate girl. When she's drunk.
Anyway, there, a somewhat topical story to start the new thread off with a bang whimper.
From: idsaluteyou bub thinks you're hitty

Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:13 PM
42
THAT DIDNT EVEN RHYMO
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson

Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:13 PM
43
I WANT SOME TAQUITOS

I love you
From: duke of slander longs to sniff sallem's
 
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:22 PM
54
show me bicycle seat! 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:22 PM
55
FACT 
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:23 PM
56
Because I know Rachel wrote it thinking of the Simpsons old jewish man. 
From: idsaluteyou bub - upps upps upps
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:23 PM
57
NO WHAMMIES NO WHAMMIES 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:24 PM
58
idsaluteyou bub said:

NO WHAMMIES NO WHAMMIES


oh man, "Press Your Luck" was a great show....
now you like, have to answer questions and shit.... lame 
From: onemanarmy - Canada
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:27 PM
59
1 + 1 = 2
2 + 2 = 4
4 + 4 = 8
8 + 8 = 16
16 + 16 = 32
32 + 32 = 64
64 + 64 = 128
128 + 128 = 256
256 + 256 = 512
512 + 512 = 1024
1024 + 1024 = 2048
2048 + 2048 = 4096
4096 + 4096 = 8192
8192 + 8192 = 16384
16384 + 16384 = 32768
32768 + 32768 = 65536
65536 + 65536 = 131072
131072 + 131072 = 262144
262144 + 262144 = 524288
524288 + 524288 = 1048576
1048576 + 1048576 = 2097152
2097152 + 2097152 = 4194304
4194304 + 4194304 = 8388608
8388608 + 8388608 = 16777216!! 
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:29 PM
60
i'm not following.....

are you dating math? 
From: idsaluteyou bub - upps upps upps
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:30 PM
61
You + Me = Chemistry.
Something something Calculus.
Remember that? 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:30 PM
62
definitely not a prime piece of ass 
From: rachelrose doesn't like bacon
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:31 PM
63
bashturn said:

Because I know Rachel wrote it thinking of the Simpsons old jewish man.


<3 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:31 PM
64
"Do you like math? Let's add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!" 
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:31 PM
65
To this day, I cannot say "Taquitos" without doing the voice. 
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:32 PM
66
too complicated.

walk up to a girl, point at her crotch, and say "someone gonna eat that?" 
From: onemanarmy - Canada
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:32 PM
67
You + Me = Chemistry.
Something something Calculus.
Remember that?


I know my calculus, it says you + me = us

N2gether!! Oh man, they had some good songs. 
From: onemanarmy - Canada
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:32 PM
68
too complicated.

walk up to a girl, point at her crotch, and say "someone gonna eat that?"


I love you already. 
From: rachelrose doesn't like bacon
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:33 PM
69
it was just 2ge+her

Girl algebra or trigonometry could never equal up
To what you do to me
So let's intergrate
Don't differentiate
If you were in my class,
There ain't no way i could pass
I hate english, gym, and not to mention
I can't even afford to pay my attention
No philosophy could ever come between us
But we'll always have our calculus
 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:33 PM
70
walk up to a girl, point at her crotch, and say "someone gonna eat that?"


"Here, let me clear you off a place to sit!" /wipes face 
From: Meddling Kid goes out of her way to be lazy
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:34 PM
71
aww i love dodgy chat up lines! 
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:35 PM
72
i noticed you're drinking a vodka tonic, wanna have sex? 
From: rachelrose doesn't like bacon
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:35 PM
73
"let's go behind a tree and grope eachother." 
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:36 PM
74
you had me at behind. 
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:36 PM
75
"Let me take you behind a middle-school, bend you over and get you pregnant
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:37 PM
76
http://so my friends and i were talking over there and they bet that you wouldn't come home with me and have unfulfilling, drunk sex.... 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:37 PM
77
"let me put my hoo-hah in your chah-chi, tee-hee" 
From: Quellan
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:37 PM
78
If math had an estate it would sue. 
From: duke of slander 's crotch genie - granting wishes for all the bishes
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:38 PM
79
hmm...... what i meant to say was....
so my friends and i were talking over there and they bet that you wouldn't come home with me and have unfulfilling, drunk sex....
 
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:40 PM
80
"You make my balls wet. What do you say we go back to your place and make my dick barf all over your ears?" 
From: Meddling Kid goes out of her way to be lazy
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:40 PM
81
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? 
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:43 PM
82
The one that always work:

"Can you come over and help me build my Ikea bookcase?" 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:46 PM
83
"I lost my phone number, can I hate-fuck you and neither call nor respect you ever again?" 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:49 PM
84
PINK!!! OVER HERE PINK!!!!

/waves arms furiously

PIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:51 PM
85
she'll be lost, and so confused....
/sobs 
From: baba give item
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:51 PM
86
i said this in the dead thread,
and i'm reposting it here because it's too valuable to be lost.

and in today's follow-up piece; girls that are "one of the guys".

these women are balanced individuals and, hence, far superior to uber-feminine types.
they invariably have developed strong relationships with the men in their lives,
which makes them a desirable partner for any guy.

however, as they mature, they will find themselves drawn to guys
who will do "womanly" things, like cooking, cleaning and yoga
and lacking patience in their relationships with uber-masculineº types.

nature is balance.
______
º proto-homosexuals
 
From: rabbiwanna Help rabbi. Help him.
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:52 PM
87
Do NOT knock up your girlfriend.

Don't worry.
For the past eight months, I've been faking it. 
From: Aliquis ALWAYS gets a seat at the bar
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:52 PM
88
someone PM her and let her know this exists. She's too self absorbed to actually read the thread and if it's not directed at her, there's no way she'll even notice. 
From: baba give item
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:53 PM
89
"sometimes i like to piss off this here porch like this." 
From: satchel you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:55 PM
90
DAMN! 997 PAGES!!!
WHY GOD WHY! 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:56 PM
91
Aliquis said:

someone PM her and let her know this exists. She's too self absorbed to actually read the thread and if it's not directed at her, there's no way she'll even notice.


Maybe it'd be like the end of "The Truman Show".
She'll see the old thread locked, be all, "Huh.",
walk away from her computer, and be normal*.

______________________________________________
*Warning: "normal" does not exist. 
From: baba give item
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:57 PM
92
the rules of dating insist upon premeditation
rather than simply allowing things to happen.

artificial vs. natural
civilization vs. wilderness

this is why i don't date. i only love. 
From: wittyusername - the Harry Potter of poop
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:58 PM
93
is that from the same book Stoney has? 
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 6:59 PM
94
I dreamt that she and Matt filmed themselves fucking. Matt posted it in the internet, and she came here to post the pornhub link and bitch about Matt egregious act of disrespect for her privacy.

That would be sooooooooooo Pink. 
From: baba give item
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:00 PM
95
i bet she makes the most messed up faces. 
From: bob b o - the things you own end up owning you
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:01 PM
96
do you think she is the loud or quiet type? 
From: Avius - she was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:01 PM
97
I bet she does the money shot like a pro. 
From: Aliquis ALWAYS gets a seat at the bar
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:01 PM
98
she's out with Wad now eating burritos at her local Chipotle. I am betting a great argument is going to ensue once she gets home - but she's going to start it because Matt isn't acting jealous. 
From: bashturn rises from the ashes like a Tucson
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:01 PM
99
I bet she cries a lot when she climaxes 
From: Aliquis ALWAYS gets a seat at the bar
 
Date: 2/23/09 @ 7:02 PM
(more) 100
I bet she likes to talk about her feelings and then watch a movie like "Pretty Woman." 
forum | login | new user | top