HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's a good one Sam 

I also dreamt that President Obama decided to become a surgeon. My youngest son became his first patient, a circumcision. He did a fine job on the surgery, but the pressure of being the president and a surgeon stressed him out enough that he decided to become a chef instead. 

i typed out a response to that dream
but had a sudden attack
of conscience...
i just couldn't bring myself to hit the post button 

I dreamt my mom showed up to tell me my toothpaste tube was constricting my blood vessels and if I switched tube types my hands wouldn't get so cold. 

i remember driving to the video rental store
and on the way, i accidentally ran a red light right in front of a cop.
in my dream, i was slightly buzzed (i NEVER drive buzzed in real life)
so i was really scared. i saw the cop do a u-turn and pull up behind me, and another cop car from the other side of the street also came up
and i pulled over immediately...then i sat there for about five minutes waitin for them to come talk to me
but eventually realized that they were pulling over someone else.
they hadn't even noticed me running the light
because it was only a left-turn red...
and they didn't realize it.
eventually i just left
to go to the store.
along the way, i saw a massive crystal monument to the girl scouts
that had those laser etched picture things in it. my mom was one of the faces.
once i got to the video store, it was in a converted stone church, but it was in a bad neighborhood
and it shared the building with a library. the librarian complained about the local crime
while i browsed their tiny betamax collection 

oh also will smith showed up
for some reason.
i don't really remember that part beyond being surprised. 

I dreamt that I had sex with a bear. Not a hairy gay man, but a rip-your-face-off bear. 

lady althea said:

No beastiality. why does that even have to be put in writing.

 

I had a dream last night that it was Cinco de Mayo and Spanky, Jory, and Banwa were all having a slumber party at my place and I made them guacamole and we were drinking Dos Equis and I glanced at the admin thread and there were two new mods and I was so upset that nobody told us.

The 4 of us made fun of all the mods because they weren't admins, and when we realized that one of them was a dwarf, we really made fun of them. And when we realized that Spanky had actually dated the dwarf (it was a girl) we all made fun of him. And then I made tres leches cake and we all ate cake. While we were eating the cake, my boss got a phone call on her work phone and it turned out that her dad was out of Depends, and it was terrible, especially on Thanksgiving morning.

Holy cow, Thanksgiving? I thought it was Cinco de Mayo! But I looked in my oven and I had a turkey in there that was almost done, so it all turned out okay. Except for the part where Spanky had fucked a dwarf. 

I dreamed I was at the Dept of Agriculture waiting to get a job with a few guys, one of whom was Paul Walker. A DoA exec came in, asked Mr. Walker about some test scores he had in high school (which were good), and then made him our boss. He got up and started teaching. He was an idiot. 

I had a shitty one
Typed it out earlier but deleted it, then told the person it was about, hoping that would take the weird out, but it didn't

I don't like this at all 

I had a dream that a dude in his thirties and a girl in her early twenties were running away from a war zone. They then knew that a nuclear bomb was going to be dropped, and that they would die. So he pushed her up against the wall, unzipped his pants, and they banged. Then they heard the bomb falling and then I woke up.

wtf, I dream about other people having sex? 

i was moving like an inch worm in a sleeping bag down the road that i live on and a cat kept fuckin with me 

lol wtf 

i know 

that's pretty entertaining, but mine was better. 

Something about a brothel. It was awkward. 

I had a sex dream with Felicia Day.
Just she was a satyr.
And it took place in what looked like the classroom set they have on Mad Men. 

wat 

I dreamed that there was someone stealing all the cables for cable and we had just gotten 2 new RAs for some reason. We naturally blame them but go to investigate. It turns out that it is happening all around campus and then a giant army of robots (made of cables) takes over the world. 

I dreamed that me, my wife, my dear old dad, my brother, her brother and her mom were all snowed in at my place in the most lovely white snow storm with pretty clouds and teh smell od ceder and all the wolf babbies were grown and having babbies of their own.
I went for a welk and helped a girl who had been stradned on the road back to our place and she became our new girlfreind like within five minues and we made Cai tea and drank and warm cider and soupy soupy and sipped on good bourbon, everone broke out on instruments except Farrahs Mom, who is a lovely singer and we made up music until every one cuddled up wolves and all and went o sleep under electric blankets.

/ maby it was Utah 

I dreamt that my wife and I were looking at photos from last Halloween and there was a picture of my two older sons and another baby (younger than my second oldest son). I was suprised because our youngest son was just born 5 weeks ago and wouldn't be old enough to be in these pictures.

In a flash, I remembered that the third baby was another son I'd had and then I remembered a sequence of events... I left my wife for another woman who either became pregnant shortly after we married or the pregnancy was the reason for leaving my wife. We'd had the baby, argued terribly and decided that we'd be better off apart, after which I went back to my first wife and we commenced spawning our third son together.

And then promptly began forgetting about my son, my second wife, our marriage and the affair.

I remember feeling so upset in the dream because I'd forgotten a son completely, and I was upset because I couldn't remember his name. Ultimately, I remembered that his name is Connor and I woke up shortly following that. 

I had a dream that everyone I knew had lost their voices. I didn't bother trying to get them back. 

I keep having dreams that my wife and I are having huge, screaming arguments. We almost never argue, but I dream again and again that I just get fed up and then all this crap spills out.

But after last night's, I'm also able to identify something that has truly been bothering me about her. I didn't realize it was bothering me so much.

it screwed up my day a little. 

shes doing other guys, right? 

I had a horrible nightmare. Horrible. In it, someone I love died. I called them as soon as I woke up just to confirm that it was just a dream and that they were still alive.
Having trouble shaking that off still. 

I've always heard to never tell someone if you dream that they died.

I sometimes have dreams I am still married to my ex-wife. It's such a relief to wake up and realize that it was just a dream.

This morning I dreamed I was going caving (which, being that caving is my obsession, is not surprising). Anyway, we were going to a cave with two entrances, one high and one low. The low entrance was easier, but was also a spring, and prone to flooding during heavy rain. We got in, and sure enough the water started rising and we had to scramble to the higher level in the cave. The lower entrance completely sumped and we were trapped because I couldn't find the way to the upper entrance. One by one our lights were fading too as the batteries were dying out. Last thing I remember before the alarm went off and woke me up was thinking "if my light goes out, this is going to suck".

I'm still going caving this weekend:) 

I've always heard to never tell someone if you dream that they died.

Whoops. I told him never to climb trees ever again.

and boy do I know that relief feeling when you wake up and you just think "good GOD am I glad that was just a dream". 

I dreamed that I had to go to an interview and it turned out that my interviewer was my puppy, Tallulah. But she had some eye boogers, and she wouldn't let me go one with my interview until I'd washed her face for her.

After that, it went just great. I'm pretty sure I got the job. 

That's cute.
You're cute. 

That's a good omen 

pyropheliaC said:

shes doing other guys, right?

Highly doubtful, but I'm pretty open minded if she was. 

I dreamed I was about to get into a three way with Lindsay Lohan (which is strange because I think she's pretty nasty), and all I could think about was how I was testing my luck against herpes or worse, so I forced myself to wake up before I got past grabbing the deflated coke stash funbags. 

Last night I dreamt one my best friends died (a friend who i had gotten in a fight with earlier that day). It sucked and we still haven't reconsiled thanks to her stubborn ass. But at least she's alive in RL. Oh also I had a really vivid dream that I was forced to evacuate my apartment building because something that was "not human" was spotted and supposedly terrorizing our building. The whole thing felt vet apocalyptic. I remember being stuck in tHe elevator and at one point i was free falling down it. Ever since I moved to the city I've been having reoccuring elevator dreams. Going to bed now, maybe this will all continue. 

I dreamt I was abducted by Grays. 

i dreamed that i was eating lunch at a restaurant, at the top of a couple hundred storey building, somewhere in the middle east with some friends. the conversation came up about dying and how we would act when it came. meanwhile the war that was going on could bee seen out the window in the far distance. everything had a red/orange tint to it. sky was dark orange too.
we talked about it for a bit while we ate. then the war eventually got to reached the building we were in and one of my friends said "hey, look whats coming from over there."
i looked out the window to see tanks firing on the building and a huge robot hit the building and knocked off the top few storeys, including where we were of course.
we started falling and i realized i was about to die. the fall lasted a long time. i freaked out at first then started to calm down when i realized i couldnt do anything about it, but my heart was still racing. i felt the acceleration as i fell and felt like i was weightless. i closed my eyes as i was just about to hit the ground.
i woke up just before we hit and it stil felt like i was falling. it was really freaky. 

I was playing a roleplay boardgame type game with razor and JTWood and a couple other people who didn't really do anything so I don't know who they are.

The currency was ground beef, and the markers or something were those little candy bananas - I forget what the candy is called but it has oranges and limes and all sorts of shit - but we were only using the bananas. Anyway, some asshole, I think it was JTWood, kept hiding the bananas in the piles of hamburger and razor was getting pissed off because we had to keep digging through the meat and the bananas were all discolored.

The really cool part was that when you had to be in a battle, you could go into virtual reality (and not the shitty kind that was marketed in the 90s). But you still had to shout commands instead of typing them. At one point I was fighting a big poisonous boar and i was like "AXE!" and I cut it in half with a battleaxe and it was totally badass.

The bad part was I really really wanted to make an almond butter and jelly sandwich, but it kept being my turn before I could get anything done. Also Nick had poured all the oil from the peanut and almond butters into another jar, so the almond butter was all flaky. And someone put the milk in the cupboard and it had mold on it but when I smelled it it smelled okay, so I put it back in the fridge. 

wait i just remembered
RUNTS
they're called runts. 

^ lol, that sounded like a good dream. 

I dreamt I was late for my rehearsal for the musiclal I'm in this December.
It's called "A Pocketful of Nonsense" and is a fairy tale spoof.
When i got there everyone was pissed that I was late and were yelling and screaming at me.
But it was the first time I had seen anyof them in full costume so I couldn't take them seriously and just started to rollon the ground laughing, 'causing them to get angrier. Then noise from upstairs woke me up. And I had a second dream that was something about making advertisements for my university's debate club, but that's all I remember. 

i dreamt i hit a road sign last night woke and my trucks fucked up.
dont drink and drive. 

I had the weirdest dream last night.

I dreamt that hax and scrums told me in an elevator that Jonah Hill had died. They said he'd been murdered by a drug dealer for being an informant and that the killer had posted the video of the whole thing on YouTube. Hax says that they shot him but Jonah thought they were just fucking with him.

So I get home and find the video and watch. Jonah Hill is lying in bed, shirtless with a blanket covering up to his chest, head shaved, and looking sickly and strung out and awful. Guys come barging in wearing ski masks and start punching him and stuff and then two guys hold his arms down while one puts him in a headlock while the cameraman (the leader) yells at him. For a while, Jonah struggles to deny that he's done anything wrong. Eventually, though, he stops and just smiles at the guy with this really spooky, dead-eyed smile. The guy walks up to him with the camera and the other guy lets go of the headlock. Jonah keeps his head held up with that same smile and the guy starts firing into his head and face. 

That's FFFFFUUUUU-cked up. 

Who is Jonah Hill and why do you have BDSM fantasies about him? 

RDRR

Jonah Hill. Actor. From Superbad and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, etc.

http://www.clevver.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/jonah_hill.jpg 

I dreamt I was back in high school, and everyone was walking around with yarmulkes and/or those Jewish prayer shawls.
That was weird. 

I dreamt she was walking in front of me, but wouldn't turn around to acknowledge my existence. 

Two parter

Part one: I was Neo, hanging with Trinity and Morpheus. I was jumping on top of this building causing it to fall over, then raising it up again with my psychic powers (you know, for fun). Then suddenly I couldn't raise it up again properly, so I flew away before the police could catch me vandalising property.

Part two: I was playing Rock Band with my friend, who happens to be a really good drummer IRL. He was doing these sick moves like one handed drum rolls and stuff, and he ended up getting 93% on a song that looked like the drumming equivalent of Dragonforce on Expert. Then I had a go on the guitar (never played rock band in my life, but am pretty good at guitar hero and they're essentially the same). For some reason, I was awful. 

I had a dream that for some reason I was to go incognito as a woman to talk with this chick who was bi for some reason. So this doctor whips up this strange potion and makes me drink it and says "Ta Da! Your a woman!"

I didn't feel like a woman, didn't look like a woman, but guys were getting attracted to me like crazy so I guess it worked. So I went in and did my thing and found the chick and she was immediately nuts over me, she demanded that I sleep in her bed with her for the night, which lead to me tryin to hide my hard on all night. Several times I tried to sneak away to a bathroom because I was still sporting my goatee and I figured that would look weird if anyone took the time to notice. I never made it cuz damn women kept following me into the bathroom.

eventually, after some crazy chase scene where we hid in a party room of a super market (i have no idea what that is, it was hidden behind doors and walls and real secretive) but she found us there and I came clean. But only because the potion exits itself forcefully through my penis, without warning. 

Tell me about your mother.